You’ve Changed
US EDITION
UK EDITION
Why—and how—do people change? For six years, New York Times bestselling author Benoit Denizet-Lewis traveled the country and the world exploring the mystery of transformation: why we chase it, fear it, and so often misunderstand it in ourselves and each other.
In You’ve Changed, Benoit examines human transformation in our age of political turmoil, technological upheaval, climate disaster, and psychic despair. Everywhere—on Instagram, in recovery meetings, through name-change petitions and political conversion manifestos—people are shedding old skins. But where is the line between reinvention and delusion? And what does it really mean to become a new person?
With curiosity and a mischievous delight in life’s detours and contradictions, Benoit introduces psychedelic voyagers, gender transitioners, ideological shapeshifters, seemingly reformed murderers, and an octogenarian grandmother determined to change her temperament (“Better late than never!” she says). Alongside them are psychologists, neuroscientists, name-change specialists, and even his own father, a breath and meditation teacher devoted to self-transformation.
Threaded through these unforgettable encounters are the author’s own heartbreaks and epiphanies, revealing that change is slippery, scary, beautiful, politically charged—and best tackled with humility riding shotgun, holding the map upside down.
In the end, You’ve Changed speaks to anyone who has tried to become someone new, mend what felt broken, or coax a loved one toward a breakthrough.
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“What a blazingly smart, funny, thoughtful and moving book about the endless hope—and occasional limits—of human transformation. In You’ve Changed, Benoit Denizet-Lewis takes us right into the trembling heart of how tempting it is to try to change your life. Using examples from all walks of existence, he shows the lengths we will go to in our efforts to become better, different, or even unrecognizable new versions of ourselves. Ultimately, I found this to be a deeply humane book, offering the reader both permission to evolve and compassion for the times it might not quite work the way we hoped.”
—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and All the Way to the River
“The question of whether we believe people can change is as fundamental as the question of whether we believe in God. In You’ve Changed, Benoit Denizet-Lewis finds a way to ask new questions of that eternal question, and to turn his search for answers into an urgent and unifying narrative for our distracted and divisive time. I read You’ve Changed with rapt interest and delight. But I also read the hell out of it—I annotated it, underlined it, dog-eared it, and scribbled in its margins, because I couldn't help but find myself in it. You will too.”
—Tom Junod, two-time National Magazine Award winner and author of In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man
“Benoit Denizet-Lewis combines reportage, research, and memoir in a fascinating and beautifully written book that captivated me from the first page. His thoughtful and thorough examination of change—if it’s possible and how it happens—is endlessly thought provoking and inspiring. Read this book!”
—David Sheff, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Boy
“People have been trying to figure out what the hell change is—how it happens, why it is so mysterious, whether it’s good, bad, natural, or godly for as long as our species has strung words into sentences, ideas, and stories. With an eye for the paradoxical, ambiguous, and delightfully absurd, and that irresistible commitment to go all the way there with his subjects, Denizet-Lewis’s wide-ranging study of change in an era when metamorphosis has become the head-spinning norm is wonderfully reported, often hilarious, and unfailingly captivating.”
—Julian Brave NoiseCat, author of We Survived the Night and director of the Academy Award-nominated documentary Sugarcane
“It’s hard to change, but harder to know how. What changes are good, and real, and which are embarrassing or dangerous mistakes? This fascinating and revelatory book should be read by anyone tempted by promises of painless transformation.”
—Larissa MacFarquhar, New Yorker staff writer and author of Strangers Drowning: Impossible Idealism, Drastic Choices, and the Urge to Help
“Few things are harder in life than undergoing change. In this eye-opening book, Benoit Denizet-Lewis brings the curiosity and perception that make him one of our best nonfiction writers to the topic of personal reinvention. With sympathy for his subjects and admirable vulnerability about his own life, he explores areas of change—behavioral, political, sexual—with sensitivity, introspection, and humor. Reading this book will change you for the better.”
—James Kirchick, New York Times bestselling author of Secret City: The Hidden History of Gay Washington
“You’ve Changed is immediately fascinating. In a world that flips fast, personal change can be elective, mandatory, or downright accidental. Benoit Denizet-Lewis takes us on a deeply considered yet hilarious ride that explores the promises, challenges, validity, and possibility of transformation in all its forms.”
—Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist, Boston University professor, and bestselling author
“Buddhism teaches us about the inherent impermanence of our existence, but when it comes to actively changing who we are and how we relate to the world, it doesn't always feel like that mutability always applies to us. In You’ve Changed, Denizet-Lewis digs into why and how people change, reminding us that it’s never too late to be the versions of ourselves we long to become.”
— Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Life
Travels With Casey
A 2014 New York Times bestseller, Travels With Casey: My Journey Through Our Dog-Crazy Country tells the story of Benoit’s 32-state, 13,000-mile journey in an RV with a Labrador he worried didn't like him very much. On the way, he meets a colorful cast of dogs and dog-obsessed humans. Casey and Benoit hang out with wolf-dogs in Appalachia, search for stray dogs in Missouri, spend a full day at a kooky dog park in Manhattan, get pulled over by a K9 cop in Missouri, and visit “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan in California. And then there are the pet psychics, dog-wielding hitchhikers, and two nosy women who took their neighbor to court for allegedly failing to pick up her dog’s poop.
Travels With Casey was reviewed positively everywhere from the New York Times to Modern Dog. People named TWC its “Book of the Week.” Publisher's Weekly raved that though “comparisons to John Steinbeck's Travels With Charley are obvious... this is an entirely different and equally rewarding piece of work that expands with each page without losing its narrative thread or the readers's interest.” Benoit was called “warm, often hilarious company” (New York Times), “a master at effortlessly weaving research into his narrative" (Los Angeles Times), a “hot summer author” (USA Today), and the creator of a “funny, fast-paced, life-affirming, moving, and satisfying... adventure tale” (Lambda Literary).
America Anonymous
For nearly three years, Benoit immersed himself inside the lives of eight addicts–including a grandmother, a college student, a bodybuilder, a housewife, and a drug and gambling addiction counselor–hooked on everything from alcohol and crack to food, gambling, and sex. America Anonymous shines a spotlight on our most misunderstood health problem (is addiction a brain disease? A spiritual malady? A moral failing?) and tries to break through the shame and denial that still shape our cultural understanding of it—and hamper our ability to treat it.
Published in 2009, the book—a New York Times Editors’ Choice selection—was widely and positively reviewed. Elle called it “graceful and compelling” and lauded it for its “deeply refreshing, unpuritanical frankness.” In a starred review, Kirkus dubbed it “an arresting, personal glimpse into the merciless world of drug and behavioral addiction” marked by “seasoned, dexterous prose.” The Cleveland Plain-Dealer called it “engrossing” and wrote that Benoit gives “readers a sense of the ravaging power of addiction.”
American Voyeur
A collection of magazine writing from early in Benoit’s career, American Voyeur: Dispatches From the Far Reaches of Modern Life takes readers inside some unexpected corners of American life. He visits a summer camp for pro-life teenagers, a San Francisco neighborhood where homeless teens have made a home, a New Hampshire town where two popular brothers committed suicide, a compound in the Ohio woods where Abercrombie & Fitch reigns (or used to) over the teen fashion world, a Boston social group for “lipstick lesbians,” and other unusual communities and subcultures.
The San Francisco Chronicle wrote that the book “marries comprehensive reporting to perhaps the best chosen subject matter (the reviewer has) read in a long time, the kind of stories you clip and save over months before discovering they belong in a single author's folder.” Publishers Weekly added that American Voyeur “offers stirring and sensitive portraits of individuals—frequently adolescents—struggling to articulate desire and identity while bearing the weight of societal taboo and marginalization... (Benoit) combines sharp-eyed reportage, sensitive depiction, and happily, considering the sober subject matter, a wry wit.”