My Ex-Gay Friend








My latest New York Times Magazine piece, about my old friend Michael Glatze, went online Thursday and was published in the magazine Sunday. It was the most difficult profile I’ve ever written.

8 Responses to “My Ex-Gay Friend”

  • Michael Montalbano

    I just read your NYT piece on Michael Glatze, and it broke my heart. I graduated from high school in 2005, so XY was actually a very prominent part of my journey in discovering my sexuality.

    My sympathies are with you, Ben, and everyone else whose life has been touched by Michael, who was once such a glowing force for the exploration of sexual identity. I hope he finds his way. Finding out about his abrupt transformation saddens me like few things can.

  • Hey! Thanks for the well-written article. I found it to be good fodder for thought. I’m writing a small response to it back on my blog, which I’ll link to this. In any event, from this “fundamentalist” Christian’s point of view, you produces an excellent article. Thanks.

  • Why was it the most difficult one you have written? He is a curious man that seems to still be adrift.

  • Hey, Benoit, I’ve written a response to your excellent article here:

  • Whether Denizet-Lewis realized it or not, his article becomes an essay not so much about understanding the startling decision of a friend as an exploration of how we know what we think we know

  • you were very fair to him. Perhaps your empathy training from rehab came into play. Somehow I don’t think if he is as cerebral as you pointed out he will stay put in the fundamental Christian world. Where he will end up is anybody’s guess.

  • Kev in central arkyland

    I’m curious. Given your history do you think Mike was using the old saw about homosexuality being a unnatural addiction as a dig at you? Seemed kind of pointed on his part and raither heartless. Usually, when I speak with conservative Christians that’s not the first thing they pull out their arsenal. And I’m curious to know if you’ve seen ‘Save Me’ and/or recommended it to Mike? My friends I’ve shared your article with are confused by Mike’s turnabout but I’m not. Once a zealot always a zealot. He’s just found a new cause. It only seems contradictory — but it really isn’t.

    Lastly, the pictures are telling. At least in the pic with Ben Mike was obviously happier. The one in the diner was pitiful. Frankly, he looked not unlike Heath playing Ennis. Good use of imagery on your part. As always, fine writing. You know, I’ve been reading you for doing on 14 years now …

  • What a fascinating article — thank you for researching and publishing it. Exploring one’s sexuality is a courageous journey, and while opinions on that journey’s path may differ, one cannot deny that Michael is a brave soul for having done it. Whatever his ultimate resolution is (or will be), I hope he finds his own inner peace. Have you heard from him since the article was published?

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